tic-toc

If I could only steal some time, some unquestioned, no explanation time to disappear, WRITE myself straight off the page.

To drink wine and, loose track, smoke and get high
To fuck on dirty mattress's in seedy hotel rooms where no one cares if you come or go.

to write and drink, and fuck and love and eat Chinese food at 3am, and puke it all up again.

If only i could shed this skin, peel it away from me and cast it off,
to run and hide
to kiss long and hard and watch him write and go mad and sleep and love

to see me through HIS eyes

if only i could find the time to steal it back again to not wish it away, to stop begging for tomorrow and forget about yesterday

there i would find ME staring back from the lonely place

there...i would just be